The Camera Shy Journal

“Don’t forget

that what’s to come hasn’t come yet.”

As much as I try to fight it (but why do I fight it?), the end of a year nearly always sends me down that silly path of self-reflection. And hell’s bells! 2008 has been a doozy…

When 2008 began, I was married. Now, I’m divorced. I used to live with my kids all of the time; now, we’re only together half the time.

In 2008, I sold a house, bought a house, moved to an apartment and finally, rented a house. I started in a 623 and ended in a 623.

In 2008, I made choices that inadvertently hurt people, and because of that, many of my friendships and relationships changed. Over the past few months, it has become way too easy for me to dwell on those changes, and to get sensitive and upset when I see the ways in which the changes manifest.

It’s been a weight on my shoulders that I just don’t care to bring into 2009. To that end, I think I’m slowly coming to realize that it’s time to let go of how things were. I can’t expect things to be the same.

And that’s okay. It has to be.

To all my friends and internet acquaintances out there, I’m sorry if I hurt you, directly or indirectly.

…

I am very much ready to move on from the pain and grief of 2008 and enter 2009 with a big ole happy smile on my face. It’s been a while since I was excited about the prospect of a new year, but man-oh-man, I am sooooooo excited about 2009! And why not? I have so much to be happy about…my kids, my Jason, my job, my friends, my cute little rental house, another trip to Williamsburg. More photos to take. More journal entries to write.

That reminds me…Camera Shy will be going through some changes in the next little bit, though I’m not quite sure what or when or how. I’ve thought fairly seriously of shutting her down and starting something new, but my gut tells me to keep her going.

That being said, after 600+ pictures, I’m beginning to run out of ideas. So – I’m going to try throwing some themes around. For example, the entire month of January will be dedicated to my favorite things. It will be like a photographic “about me” list. I’m not sure what February will bring – any ideas?

Anyway, I’ve rambled on long enough. I wish each of you the best in this new year!

The New, Interpol

I saw Everything is Illuminated a few years back and instantly loved it. This song was featured in the trailer for the movie, which I’m sure I saw at some point (I always like to watch trailers for movies after I see the movie).

I started listening to DeVotchKa a couple months ago, and was happily surprised to find this song, with its distant, detached sort of familiarity. It’s like having a pleasant conversation with a stranger at the grocery store, only to meet this same person years later and end up best friends. I’ve never actually had that happen, but it sounds nice. : )

Anyhow, DeVotchKa’s never too far from my CD player these days.

This one is for Spotz.

Honk if you think all I ever do is post memory-lane youtube videos.

: )

Actually, it’s a bit different today.  The video I wanted to post doesn’t want to be imbedded, so if you’re curious, here’s the link.

It’s in my top 15 all-time favorite songs, though I never bought the album or the single.

I’ve been feeling a bit burned out with the whole photography hobby.  I don’t want to be burned out, because deep down I know how much I really love taking pictures.

When I’m in a good kind of photography mood, I can go just about anywhere and see things that I want to take pictures of.  Lately, I just haven’t been seeing anything that would make a good photograph.  I know the opportunities are there.  I’m just not seeing them.

How do I get out of my slump?

I was flipping channels earlier and came across a rerun of Scrubs on the CW. It was just at the point in the show when they introduce the poignant song that sums up the theme of the episode. It was a song that I listened to in late high school; the first time I heard it was while sitting at Java in the Old City. The waiters had an EP with the acoustic version that they would play fairly often.

It was good to hear it again after so many years.